Well that was an interesting last few days. The last week has seen some real struggle moments and challenges however it looks like we are all going to make it though just fine. Hubby had to go back to work rather suddenly and it took the kids (and I) by surprise. Now if you learn nothing else about Autism there are a few key rules 1) don’t change the plans 2) don’t break a line and 3) no surprises. Unfortunately 2 out of three occurred and the end result was one incredibly distressed and regressed little boy. Why am I talking about Autism in a Whole30 post? Well this is my life, these are our challenges and when things get hard the last thing you feel like doing is sticking to a diet.
Wrong, so very very wrong…. Now before this challenge I would have given in and given up. Honestly it does get so very hard and the last thing you feel like doing is cooking another meal or cleaning more dishes. And shopping with a distressed child is no fun let me tell you. We managed but only with my now 19kg lanky almost 6yr old tied onto my back with ear muffs on and it was an in and out trip planned with military precision. Oh the stares and comments you endure, seriously its my frek’n back and my child how the heck is it bothering you. And yes it hurts and I am FULLY aware he is almost too big – you think it doesn’t worry me in the middle of the night wondering how I will help him in those moments when I can’t simply carry him? On the upside it’s excellent exercise and I swear by now my arms should be so much more toned with all the ups and downs.
So I have survived, here are the highlights or AHA moments of the week thats been. I remained Whole30 the whole time and I am so very proud to say I have passed the halfway mark.
You look tired lets just get takeout….
Such a loving gesture right? I mean the person you love sees all the dishes piled up and the screaming kids and offers you a way out. Why on earth would this be the first AHA moment of my week? I mean I married the guy I should know he loves me by now right?
The reason why this was the first AHA moment is that for the first time in over a decade of relationship I realised this wasn’t about me at all. Yes I am tired, yes there are dishes to do before food can be prepared, yes the kids are going full throttle but breaking my healthy eating patterns and breaking the budget won’t help me at all. I’ve got food there, its good food and it just needs to be cooked. An offer to assist with dinner prep or to take over while I manage the kids would be far more constructive and helpful. Now between you and me I know my Hubby isn’t actually trying to break the diet or make things harder on the budget (which is tighter than my wedding dress by now). He just sees what I’m managing and wants the quickest solution to the problem. Unfortunately there is nothing that these short term patches will actually accomplish. Sometimes the hard road is the one that needs to be traveled. So I put on my big girl pants and had a shot of black sugarless coffee, played some upbeat music and damn well made dinner even though it was the last thing I felt like.
You can keep your danishes and sandwiches I want my health back!
So Day 10 saw me facing a rather tricky challenge. I was lucky enough to get a ticket to the Sue Larkey and Dean Beadle Autism Workshop. Now as I had been last year I new that there would be tables stuffed full of danishes and sandwiches and all things most defiantly NOT Whole30. Heck even the gluten and dairy free diet I was on before was not ok with the foods on hand – and yes last year I scoffed more than a few items and payed the price for my little pig out. So this time I decided to come fully prepared, so I packed a huge salad for lunch. I made up a great big green smoothie as even though at home I am not snacking I realised that all those pastries were going to tempt me sorely. Into the bag also went my thermos for a cup of herbal tea and a good book. After all if I was sitting down and reading I couldn’t slip up right?
Well the plan worked beautifully and I found out some surprising bonuses to my little plan. Firstly as I wasn’t competing with a room full of hungry attendees I was able to get my food without the usual hassle, also no competing for bathrooms which I am sure all women have experienced. I was also able to have more time to spend on looking at the resources and talking to others. I didn’t even get to read my book as I kept finding interesting people to chat too. When I got home I was so proud of myself for actually managing my needs in a tricky situation. Food isn’t the whole picture and I do have a choice.
Well Day 15 saw me hit the mid way wall that is often mentioned in the Whole30 groups. I swear I was ready to gag if I saw another egg, though the kids appear quite happy with them. The biggest challenge is that day 15 came at the end of a rather hard weekend with the kids. I had gone over to my parents place the night before just to get a little back up and managed to bring my Whole30 compliant dinner with me but for some reason the pile of dishes and thought of going on was too much by the end of day 15. So I did what any one should do at that point and reached out to others both online and on the phone. While I am sure my Mum thinks I’m bonkers she was very quick to point out that I was feeling better and doing well so why stop. The online support was also fantastic in fact I had the local thai place’s website in the one tab and the Facebook group in another I was that close to justifying a failure. However I dug deep once more and made dinner for us that was rather delicious. It is not avoiding those moments that shows you that you have the ability to change but rather facing them and choosing a new path each time.
Are you nuts?
Yep some lessons are learnt the hard way. After all that will power and good decision making on day 15 I unfortunately spent the evening in agony. I eventually have a possible culprit to my digestive hell and its the cashews I used in my raw salad dressing. Now I eat them frequently without issue however I only have a small quantity at a time. That salad however I decided to put on too much of the dressing and as a result my poor body didn’t know what to do with all the cashews. So I will proceed with caution and wait a while before trying anything more than my small handful of nuts. Once more it won’t kill me or cause long term harm but obviously I have an upper limit on the nut front.
Looks can be very deceiving…
Day 16 and after the nut incident I was feeling bloated and generally awful. I flicked back to my Weight Watchers and had a panic about the ghee and coconut oil I was using I mean surely I was going to ballon out to a never before seen size at this rate. So I caved and checked my measurements. I didn’t weight myself and won’t till the end but I had to do something to check I wasn’t off track totally. Well blow me down things are heading in the right direction. I won’t spoil the fun by revealing whats happened before the end but I am so impressed and inspired to keep going. So even though I feel yucky it most certainly is not what is really happening on the inside.
So there you are one very stress busy week where the old me would have resorted to fast food and gaining weight/bulk at a rapid rate. Newer me is finding the energy to keep going and make the changes that need to happen. I can’t wait to see how this progresses.